


that one post-mortem that got out of hand.

by morallyambiguous



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Based On Buzzfeed Unsolved, Confessions, Kinda, M/M, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, and no work was done that day, minor langst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 03:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15282999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morallyambiguous/pseuds/morallyambiguous
Summary: “It just goes to show that even beautiful people have bad habits too. Except me. I’m perfect.” He smiles at the camera, knowing that Pidge is going to add in his signature sparkle in post. It hits him then that he just admitted to two of his co-workers that he thinks they're hot. Next he's going to tell them he's been majorly pining for them for the past year.God, Pidge and Hunk are going to make so much fun of him for flirting with his co-workers during a video. Maybe Pidge'll do him a solid and the footage for this ep will mysteriously disappear from Buzzfeed's servers.





	that one post-mortem that got out of hand.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nextredpaladin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nextredpaladin/gifts).



 “And we’re live in 3, 2, 1!”

Lance grins up at the camera. “Hello, and welcome to another edition of Buzzfeed Unsolved Post-Mortem. A show where we answer your most pressing questions about the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, which was the Glara colony—shit.”

Keith snorts and Shiro stifles a laugh behind his hand.

“Shut up, both of you.”

Shiro raises a dark eyebrow, “You want to try that again, Lance?”

“No,” Keith says, “We should definitely leave it in. Maybe the ghosts will be so angry they’ll appear to correct Lance.” He gives a stupid little chortle and snorts, because, as Lance and the Lanciacs know, he is a huge dork.

Shiro laughs at them, because he's an equal opportunity asshole. “Let’s try that again from the top.”

“Hello, and welcome to another edition of Buzzfeed Unsolved Post-Mortem. A show where we answer your most pressing questions about the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved which was the Galra colony!” Shiro gives him a half-sincere thumbs-up at managing to complete it. If he weren’t on camera, he’d be rolling his eyes. “All the questions we are answering today came from you guys via our Buzzfeed Unsolved Facebook page and our Buzzfeed Unsolved Instagram page. Let’s get started with today’s questions.”

He looks down at his phone, “This question is from Bobbie Martinez, “So how do you—?”” He stopped and blushed, “Really? Shiro, did you pick these questions?” Shiro shakes his head.

Lance pushes his phone at Keith, unwilling to ask a question that could out him like that, “So how do you feel working with the hottest guy at Buzzfeed? Your choice whether I’m talking about Keith or Shiro.” He looks at Lance, “I don’t know Lance, how do you feel?”

Lance’s face can’t get any redder but it sure is trying. “No comment.”

Keith pushes a little more, shit-eating grin from ear to ear, “But the Lanciacs want to know." He drops his face into a serious look, "It’s very important information.”  Shiro ties to disguise a laugh as a cough behind the camera. He wonders when they’ll finally get together. They’re pretty much made for each other.

Lance looks dead into Shiro's eyes and the camera, fully ready to expose them. They've brought this upon themselves. “Well... Shiro steals my food and Keith steals my pens because he is allergic to buying his own. Also, he has a mullet, like, I've talked about it before, but it is truly terrible.” He tugs on a lock of Keith's hair, not noticing the man's blush. "He has such gorgeous hair and he completely ruins it with this horrendous haircut."

He's on a roll now. "And Shiro! Don't let that beautiful bod fool you folks, Shiro is like the teambuilder from hell. Once Pidge had us over to play D&D and then when we left, Shiro was like," He puts his finger across the bridge of his nose to mimic Shiro's scar, "that was a great team building exercise." He wipes a fake tear away. "It's like HR created a beautiful buff HR robot and then let him work among us to promote harmony and niceness or something."  He laughs at his own joke before going on. 

“It just goes to show that even beautiful people have bad habits too. Except me. I’m perfect.” He smiles at the camera, knowing that Pidge is going to add in his signature sparkle in post. It hits him then that he just admitted to two of his co-workers that he thinks they're hot. Next he's going to tell them he's been majorly pining for them for the past year.

God, Pidge and Hunk are going to make so much fun of him for flirting with his co-workers during a video. Maybe Pidge'll do him a solid and the footage for this ep will mysteriously disappear from Buzzfeed's servers.

Keith blushes and rolls his eyes, "Sure, you're totally perfect. It's not like you flirt with everything that moves or anything." Shiro nods in agreement behind the camera.

"Don't slut-shame me." Lance laughs, punching Keith on the shoulder. "Why, you jealous, mullet?"

"Alright, you two, focus!" Shiro laughs.  It's only them in the building right now, and the comforting atmosphere of three friends hanging out has left them loose and happy.

Lance laughs, picking up his phone again. He misses Keith's fond smile but Shiro doesn't.

"Okay, okay, let's see..." He scrolls through his phone, trying to find a good one that'll make the guys laugh. "This is from @mimimimimi on twitter. If you had to choose one to be real, would it be aliens or ghosts?"

"I'm not choosing one to be real. Because aliens are real" Keith says, no hesitation. "We can't be the only ones out here in the infinite universe. I refuse to believe it. Now, I'm not saying that they've been here, because they haven't. But like, they exist." He has that look on his face that Lance hates.

Keith's serious face is the worst. It highlights his, frankly ridiculous, jawline and beautiful eyes, and Lance needs him to be that gorgeous about 200 feet away from him. Because standing this close to him when he looks like this is torture.

"Earth to Lance, earth to Lance, you still in there?"

Keith is waving his hand in front of his face. A lifetime of dealing with annoying little siblings kicks in and Lance immediately swats it away. "I, yeah, sorry, my head's a little in the clouds today. Um," he's almost forgotten the question, "aliens too, I think, because at least they live far away, and can't immediately come and attack me. A part of me 100% wants ghosts to be real, but then I'd have to deal with the consequences of ghosts being real. I'm not ready for that. At least aliens are all the way in space." He tries to get back in the rhythm of the conversation, but it's becoming clear that he's losing the thread.

Shiro stops the recording. "You alright Lance? We can always do this Monday."

Lance waves him off, getting up from his chair and grabbing his bag. "No, no, I'm fine. Give me a minute."

He steps out into the hallway and goes to the men's room. There's no one there. The building's empty of everyone, even the notoriously late-working Pidge. But they'd been on a roll until he fucked it up. He splashes some cold water on his face, trying to remind himself to pretend that he doesn't want to jump his co-worker's bones.

It's harder than he thought, but he's done it before. Sometimes it gets hard and he can't help but let the affection shine through.

He pats some moisturizer on his face and fixes his hair. Puts on some fresh chap stick. He can do this.

He can do this.

He walks down the hall, and as he's about to open the door, he hears the low murmur of two voices.

"So, are we going to tell him?" Keith.

He can't do this.

"I thought you were going to tell him at dinner last night?" Shiro.

It'd been a good dinner too, Lance had made lasagna.

"Well, you were supposed to be there, I'm not going to tell him by myself." Keith again.

"Dinner tonight?" Shiro.

It’s  supposed to be the three of them, it is most of the week. There was rarely a day at least two of them weren't at one another's place.

"Sure, where do you want to go?"

Lance opens the door then, "Hey guys, what are you talking about?" He says, trying to make it sound like he didn't know that they were going to tell him that they were together.

"Dinner tonight." Shiro says. "It's your turn to pick."

Lance taps a manicured nail against his chin. He doesn't want to do this in public, but he also doesn't want to get his heart broken at his own apartment. "Shiro's? I'm feeling like takeout and he has the best couch." Shiro preens and Keith opens his mouth to argue that his couch is the best couch, thank you very much. But Lance elbows him as he starts to open his mouth.

 

"Sounds good." Shiro says, he walks up to Lance, and rests his hands on Lance's shoulders. Lance tries not to stare at Shiro's biceps and pecs and instead gets a face full of Shiro's concerned face. "You doing okay Lance? We can wrap this up tomorrow."

Lance squeezes Shiro's human hand. "I'm fine, but thank you. Let's get this done and then we're done for the week." Shiro's eyes soften and he smiles, the beginning of crow's feet at his eyes making him even more handsome.

It’s ridiculous to Lance how someone can be that beautiful in both the big and the little ways.

"Let's get to it, Blue."

Lance sits down again in his chair and looks over at Keith. He's staring at him, and for a second Lance thinks that somehow, he knows that Lance was standing outside the door listening to their private conversation, but Keith just raises an eyebrow at him. Lance nods at the silent question and Keith relaxes, knowing that Lance is fine.

"It's my turn now," He looks at his phone. "And.... oh, this one is good. Lotor Alteen asks "how does Shiro feel about being dragged to all these haunted places?”

“You guys get to look behind the curtain, come on over here big guy!" The happy tone is still ringing a little false, but he's getting there. He stands up and lets Shiro take his chair.

He leans on the older man's shoulders, enjoying the smell of his cologne, but trying not to be creepy about it. "Some of the places we go are definitely creepy, but I don't necessarily think they're haunted." Lance fakes a shot to the heart behind him. "But it's fine really, the best part is being with the guys and having fun."

"Just a couple of dudes being guys." Lance snickers.

"Couple of guys being dudes." Shiro's turn. In the back of his mind, Lance is placing bets on whether or not Keith will finish the reference.

"Just a couple of dudes being gay." Keith laughs, but he's looking at Lance and Shiro.

Shiro smirks, "Show me your dick, Lance."

Lance blushes. He's definitely had dreams recently in that vein.  "And we're done with that question, because Buzzfeed wants to make money off this video and we can't do that if this video turns X-rated."

Shiro looks at him, it's a long look, but he nods. "Okay," He addresses the camera, "but to be honest, I focus on how much fun I'm having with Lance and Keith. As long as we're together I'm having a good time." He squeezes Lance's hand on his shoulder and gets up to go back to the camera.

Lance smiles, only a little bit heartsick, Shiro might not be for him, but he's a great guy. "The next question is-"

Keith cuts him off, "Nope, my turn." Keith has that serious look on his face, and he looks beautiful, and Lance wants to hate him a little bit. "This question comes from Kanani "Hunk" Kahananui, "so when are you three going to get your shit together and admit you like each other?""

Lance's heart stops. His brain makes a note to punch Hunk next time he sees him.

"Damn it, Keith." Shiro says, turning off the camera.  "What happened to waiting for dinner?"

"We're here now, so we should talk to him now." Keith says, shrugging, “Hunk just gave us the opportunity.”

Lance holds up his hands to stop the conversation, "I already know you two are together, so you don't have to tell me. It's fine. I'm happy for you." The words are both true and not; the taste of them is bittersweet on his tongue.

"Lance..." Shiro starts.

"We're not together." Keith says. "... Yet."

Lance blinks, thoroughly confused, "Why not?"

Shiro walks over to them and leans against the table. They're both in arms reach, and it's that much more intimate. "We talked to each other and we both have feelings for you. We wanted to talk to you first before we started anything." Shiro looks into his eyes earnestly, like a puppy but if a puppy were a full grown, incredibly attractive man. "We wanted to start a relationship—I mean, if we start one. I'm not saying that you're obligated to start one but if you wanted to—" Shiro'd gone from his usual cool and confident self to a flushed, blustering mess in under a minute.

"Shiro wanted everyone to go into the relationship on equal ground." Keith interrupts.

"I—yeah. That." Shiro says.

"So, we're not in a relationship because we wanted to wait and talk to you and see if you were interested in us too." Keith summarizes.

"As Hunk said, we've all been a mess for a while, and it really could've been anyone that confessed. Keith just got to it first because he's impatient." Shiro was less flustered but still had a pretty flush across his cheeks. Keith's face was its usual color, but Lance could see his leg jumping up and down.

They liked him back.

They liked _him_ back.

They liked him _back_!

"So, if I said yes, that means tonight would be our first date?"

"Yes." Keith says. Shiro nods.

"Well, I guess I better go home and change. I can't wear this to our first date." He gestures to his outfit, nice, but nothing special. He grabs his bag. Keith grabs his wrist.

"You don't have to, you're look fine in what you're wearing. You always look nice." Lance preens under the praise.  He leans down to kiss Keith's cheek and up to kiss Shiro's.  He wishes he'd worn lipstick that day to leave some sort of impression, some sort of lasting mark. These boys were all but his now, the whole world should know.

"I've been gone on you two for months. If we're doing this, we're doing it right. See you at eight, boys."

He strides out the door, head held high and a spring in his step.

"That's a yes, right?!" Shiro yells once he's recovered enough to realize that Lance has left them.

"You bet your ass it is!"

It's only when he's sitting in his car in the parking garage that he lets himself squeal into his hands.

He drives home on a cloud of air, smiling despite the LA traffic.

He's got a date to get ready for.


End file.
